Seriously, I do. I think I just need to vent. Or maybe take a Valium. I'm truly not sure anymore. I love my children, a lot, I really truly do. They are both loving and sweet, inquisitive, and ornery and their smiles and hugs melt away my grump...usually...but some days (namely TODAY) I've hit my limit.
Leo is such a stinker. I cannot get anything done without him either trying to destroy it or something else in the process. Some of his favorite activities include starting the dishwasher or changing the setting while it's already in progress, climbing into the washing machine or dryer, with or without clothes, he's not preferential on that one, starting said machine or, again, changing the cycle midway through, pushing the stool over to the stove and banging on the burners, exploring the refrigerator, opening my make-up drawer and applying lipstick, and of course...trying to mount Walter and ride him into the great blue yonder. If one more person tells me that he's "all boy" I may have to smack them. This I know, what to do about it is driving me over the edge. He is also newly fascinated by the toilet. So, in addition to everything listed above, I found him this morning pulling the whole roll of toilet paper and dumping it into the toilet. Then he sat on it, like a big boy, but then proceeded to fall in so his shorts, that we had just put on, were then soaking wet.
Sophia is fairly self sufficient but of course wants my attention all the time. If this child was allowed to sleep in my bed and sit on my lap while she ate every meal she would do it. She does play nicely by herself and enjoys watching her shows, but she and Leo are already at constant odds about toys, food, behavior, whatever. Leo still isn't talking much (more on that soon) and she constantly reverts back into this annoying baby talk. I h.a.t.e it. With a passion. I get this is normal and all that crap, but I'm over it. I'm ready for her to move on and go back to her big girl ways. She is actually a very good big sister and does share reasonably well, but it's really hard when your brother bangs your guitar on the floor and tries to shove your balloon into his mouth and then when you retreat into your room for a moment of solace he is on the outside banging and screaming. I know how you feel, sweet daughter, this is my life every second of the day!
Just to further aggravate me, after I finally made it to the gym this morning, I decided that for everyone's sake I had to try and leave it all at the gym. I was a little slow to get going but realized that a good sweat and a nice accelerated heart beat would do me a world of good. So, I pushed that incline up a bit and unloaded for a full-on run. I'm doing good, feeling great, sweating a lot, when a small, gray haired woman appears at my side. Holding her towel and reveling in her judgment she points at the time clock on the treadmill (yes there is a 30 minute time limit when others are waiting and I was over that clearly I'm busy) and says, Excuse me, aren't you finished? with the flick of her finger from the clock to the floor I sort of stare at her in awe. Realizing that, No bitch, clearly I'm not, wasn't probably my best response, I simply got off and walked away.
I really had to mail some stuff, so against my better judgement I headed to the post office. I loathe the post office. There are always tons of people and no one moves quickly there. It is very cramped and I can only keep my children entertained for so long. I make my way up to the counter and in mid sentence I turn to see Leo destroying the card display. I mean he was right next to me and then whoosh...40 cards and envelopes on the floor. I sort of yelp, turn and run backwards toward the cards, sweep them up, but them back and haul his little tushie right back to the counter with me...trailing behind is Sophia saying well I was just looking at them! Trying to shush goody two-shoes I finally paid and was leaving when the nice postal worker looked at me and said, wow good for you, you sure do have a lot of patience. It was the nicest thing that happened to me yet. With tears in my eyes I said, Bless you for thinking that this looks like patience. On the sidewalk outside another man came up to me and said, don't worry, Mom they'll grow up. Shit. I must really look like hell today.
Please tell me it gets better...someone, anyone? Better?
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5 comments:
Hahaha. I could seriously have written everything from this post but about my kids. They do the exact same things. Routinely clog the toilet with toilet paper, need to be sitting on me at all times, and destroy the card and box display at the post office. Sigh. And it really makes my day when people say nice things to me when I am struggling with the kids, and really makes me feel bad when people are mean and judgmental. Hope you are all doing well. We will be passing right through on Highway 70 on Wednesday morning, I will think of you. Wish we had time to get together, but we have to be in Denver by Friday, and are staying in Manhattan for a day.
Sorry, Tori, I just read this. I'm already nervous about having #3 two years apart from #2, and this just plays into my fears! :) Seriously, EVERYONE has their bad days, so vent away and do whatever you can to make it through. Leo is at a tough age, and you know yourself (with Sophia) that it does get better and will continue to get better with every passing year. Know that we are all in this together - as I write this, William is trying to sit on Terra's head...
Also, a few months ago, I made a sanity run to Babies R Us and bought safety locks for all cabinets in the kitchen, for the refrigerator, for the doors to the bathroom, pantry and laundry room, and removed all stools on the main level. This has helped my frustration levels significantly.
I'm so overdue on blog reading--sorry I'm late weighing in! Kathleen's idea about childproofing is a good one! As you know, I'm certainly all about safety stuff and it's just to mitigate the craziness. ;)
If you want to talk about speech development, I could pass on some tidbits too.
Glad to read a venting post. I think most moms feel such pressure to be perfect and in control that it's refreshing to hear about the normal craziness in other people's lives. ;)
I'm way behind on reading posts, and I'm sure you're over it by now, but I just want to say (coming from someone without kids, admittedly - at least, none that I know of ;) ), I think you're a fabulous mother. I thought in college you would make a fabulous mother, and I think your ability to vent speaks to your fabulous-ness, as Jill said - I know there is a lot of pressure for mothers to be "perfect" but truth is, NO mother is perfect. Perfection comes in your ability to take care of yourself, and love your children, which you certainly do. I know it's frustrating, but one day, you'll laugh about this stage (maybe? Maybe? I mean, who DOESN"T want to throw all the toilet paper in the toilet and see what happens? I surely do...)
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