Trick or Treat

This Halloween thing is not all its cracked up to be!

Sleepin' on the job

When it was time to greet the trick-or-treaters, Sophia donned her costume too! She looked expectantly adorable in her pumpkin outfit. She helped us pass out some candy but mostly she just slept on the job! Darn baby!



Our neighborhood was very busy Halloween night. It makes me hopeful that when she becomes trick or treating age, she will be surrounded by nice children her own age to play with right on our own block!

Happy Halloween!

Who's that ghosty with the mosty?!

I look cute, but I'm not happy about it!

All tuckered out after a long day of meeting people!

Sophia was all decked out for Halloween and looking especially adorable in her new Halloween outfit courtesy of Kathleen and Lily!



I took Sophia to visit all my friends at school on Wednesday as well. I figured what better day to visit than Halloween...this plan was two fold. One, I knew that I wouldn't be stopping any learning going on that day by showing up unannounced into various classrooms as it was guaranteed to be crazy. Secondly, I did myself a favor by visiting on one of the worst and craziest days of the school year to remind myself that I did the right thing by not going back to work this year! I was successful on both accounts!



I enjoyed seeing all my friends and colleagues and everyone was thrilled to see Sophia. I worked there 7 years watching everyone else get married and have babies and it was my turn. And rest-assured, people made sure they I knew that they were thinking it was "about time" for my turn to come! Surprisingly I got a lot of people who voted on the Charlie front for who she looked like which was surprising since most people say she looks like me. I think the older she's getting the more she is looking like Charlie, but our baby pictures are pretty similar!

An Old Friend

Lily enjoying her pudding!

While Kathleen and I caught up on old times, Charlie and Sophia caught up on some Zzzzs!

I had a visit from my old friend Kathleen this week. She was my freshman year college roommate and we've been somewhat inseparable since then. I mean, the whole Baltimore-Kansas City thing kinda gets in the way, but she's always been a great friend and support for me over the years :) Plus, she's been an excellent baby resource and as some of you may remember, the inspiration for the blog.



Her daughter Lily had a great time walking with Sophia, chasing Walter and eating pudding. She is such a doll and it was hard to imagine that some day, Sophia will be 2 years old, walking, talking and being silly too! I hate to get too nostalgic since she's only 6 weeks old, but still, I was looking at her pictures from the day she was born and marveling at how much she's changed already. She smiles a lot and is very alert when she's awake. She likes the sounds the music and running water. So far U2 and Johnny Cash are at the top of her list!

I hated to say goodbye to the them as it is too infrequent that we get together. Hopefully however, they will be relocated to St. Louis soon and make it much easier for visits!

Plan C

Okay, so Plan B lasted about 36 hours. It was awful. I felt really positive about it, for about an hour that is. Things went so smoothly at the office and I was feeling good, but when putting the plan into reality, it just didn't work. Sophia was very hungry and frustrated all day. When I tried to skip the supplement after one feeding, she would have none of it. She couldn't last. When I tried to get her to latch, she worked so hard that by the time she did, she was asleep. Obviously she wasn't going to eat much in that state! My tears started rolling again and I felt like I was back at square 1.

I realize that I gave up on Plan B very quickly and had I stuck it out it may have worked. I also realize that considering I had stuck to the idea of breastfeeding so aggressively, it's also odd that I just abandoned the idea of Plan B. But, about midnight I hit the wall. I was exhausted, she was exhausted and I felt hopeless. I decided to try pumping and feeding her with the bottle all night.

This was Plan C. It was on an experimental basis at first. It worked pretty well most of the night. I alternated giving her only the bottle for 2 feedings and offering the breast and bottle for two feedings. She sort of latched on but I think really just wanted to be fed. I realized that was my number one priority...feeding the baby.

I decided that I felt less stressed using Plan C and that I should just go with it. So I continued pumping and "breastfeeding" through the bottle. I feel really good that she's getting all my milk, as that's the main reason I wanted to breastfeed anyway, to use my milk instead of formula. I have had to use a little formula along the way b/c of shortages and wasting, but I'm okay with it.

I'm still stuck between feeling okay with the plan and feeling guilty about giving up on nursing. I'm working towards okay, though, and that's the important thing. I'm somewhat worried about my milk supply staying up but I'm diligently pumping and trying to create at least a little bit of a supply in the fridge/freezer.

Sophia goes in for her ultrasound on Tuesday and I go in for my 6 week OB check-up...a busy day! I'll try and post pics soon because she continues to be adorable and changing all the time!

Well Whadya Know

I had my much anticipated appointment with the lactation nurse today. I was very excited and a little nervous because I'm ready for a plan. For five weeks now I've felt that I've been drifting along taking advice with no end in sight for my ridiculous feeding ritual. The nurse I worked with has been a lactation nurse for a long time and has lead a breastfeeding support group for 12 years. She has a ton of experience, and being part of the support group has "heard it all". So I was confident that she would be able to help me.

After giving her a brief history of my time with Sophia we got to work. We weighed Sophia before we started and we would weigh her again when she finished feeding to see how much she transferred. Then she watched me nurse. Sophia had a good latch with the nipple shield and was really sucking away. So at the end of 15 minutes she had only transferred 14cc (about 1/2 oz). This is about what I had expected and an obvious source of my frustration. She started asking me questions about the nipple shield and if I'd tried to go without it, etc. I explained that I have tried but I can't get the baby to latch on , etc. She was quite adamant that we try without the shield and she would help me get Sophia to latch. So, here's where your math skills come in handy....after latching without the nipple shield and nursing for only five minutes, Sophia transferred 22cc. Well, whadya know.

I'm sure there are many a lactation nazi nodding their heads in affirmation at this point, but I must say I was shocked. And a little irritated. Why did I have to pay someone $75 to figure this out when I've seen a whole gaggle of lactation nurses for free and explained my situation over and over again! Plus, for everyone else I know the nipple shield has worked wonders, so who would have thought it was impeding our progress???

So now we're on Plan B, that is at least until Tuesday when we see if our plan succeeded or failed. Per her instructions, we are cutting down on the amount of supplement per feeding, plus I'm eliminating one supplement per day. I am nursing her for 5 minutes with the shield to get her started then taking it away and nursing for ten more minutes. I'm supposed to do this on each side every time. The hard part is getting her to latch. It was so much easier in the warm, cozy office of the lactation nurse, especially when she was helping! I've tried twice so far today and I've experienced both success and not success. I don't want to say failure yet, as I'm on board for another go at this whole breast feeding thing.

I know that many out there keep encouraging me to give up and go to formula, and really I can't tell you why I haven't. But, many of you also know that once I decide on something it's awfully hard to talk me out of it! I do believe that breastmilk is what's best for my baby and I enjoy the closeness that it brings (when I'm not crying out of frustration that is!) us. Plus, I have a bias against formula because I think it smells funny and it makes my stomach turn. Sorry.

I weigh Sophia again on Tuesday. If she has gained at least 5 oz, we continue with the plan. If she hasn't...well, I don't know what we'll do!

One Month (and one day) Old!

Enough pictures, please, Mom!!!

Our little pumpkin is one month old! She's grown so much and so have we! We still remark every day about how beautiful and precious she is and how great it is to be parents. Even through all the late nights, the fussiness we can't decode and the many, many dirty diapers we are lucky to have her!

She went for her one month check-up today and weighed in at a whopping 9lbs 2oz! Woo hoo! She also grew about an inch is is now 22 and a quarter inches long. The nurses said she looked healthy and was doing great. We scheduled her hip ultrasound for the end of the month. This is routine for breech babies, but they say not to worry b/c her hips look good and don't display any signs of a problem. We do have to go to the children's hopsital to have that done, however, which is a surprise. At least I'll visit there the first time for a routine experience and hopefully never have to go back!

I continue to get opposite end of the spectrum advice on breastfeeding from every doctor and/or nurse I see. I did make an appointment for a one-on-one consultation with a lactation nurse from a local hospital next week. I'm looking forward to this for the sheer fact that I'm ready for a plan! I can be flexible on what exactly that plan entails, but I'm ready for something b/c I'm going crazy here!

Our First Big Outing

Happy Birthday, Cody!

Great minds think alike! Shelby and I showed up in twin shirts...and we didn't even call each other first!

This is Sophia's opinion of Japanese food!

Wednesday was Cody's 19th birthday. First of all, wow. I can't believe he's already 19!!! So, in honor of his birth Stacy and Pam planned a fun night out at a Japanese Steakhouse. Well, we couldn't miss his big day or terriyaki chicken so we loaded up and prepared Sophia for her first big outing.



I was a little nervous, as you may imagine. I was afraid about what it would look like if she got hungry or fussy, or if she would cry so loud it would bother other patrons, etc. Plus, I still don't really know how I'm going to deal with the whole breastfeeding in public thing. I had fed her before we left and we even pushed down a little bit more milk as a "snack" to tide her over for longer. But, to my amazement she was a total star! Besides catching a shrimp in her mouth, she slept the entire time and didn't make a peep!



Charlie thinks this maybe a sign of things to come....an angel in public and trouble at home!