Sophia and her Brother

Helping to buckle Leo for his doctor's appointment

using her new camera for lots of snapshots

love to give kisses


checking him out!

more investigation

Even though Sophia still occasionally refers to Leo as her little sister, she seems to be adjusting pretty well! I do think his novelty is wearing off, though. Yesterday she started telling me to put him down and hold her instead. She also directed me to put him in the swing and put him in the bassinet at different times throughout the day. She is definitely starting to get the jealous bug. She doesn't want anyone holding him for long, she usually demands their attention shortly thereafter. But, on the other hand she still wakes up every morning and goes to make sure he's okay and wants to hold him herself. If he makes any noise at all she declares that he's crying and then says...he's okay. When he spits up she says "he spilled!" That one is personal favorite! When I burp him she comes running over and wants to help with that too! She has figured out how the breast pump works and is eager to help with the clean-up. She lets me know when it's time to pump and when it's time to be done pumping. The other day we were discussing that mommy makes milk for Leo the same way I did for her when she was a baby. She then looked at me and said, "you have an udder." It was very matter of fact and yet so shockingly accurate that I was speechless. I do feel like a cow, that's for sure! The past week has been trying for the four us, I must say, but we're working through it. I'm seriously not sure how people do this! I mean, one additional kid is hard enough, but I think about having two or more and my poor mother in law who had 4 kids in 4 years...I think she must have been a saint...and I truly wonder how they make it work! This week Sue is off work so she'll be available to help us out. Charlie goes back to work next week (yikes and double yikes!!) and my mom is working evenings so she can be here to help me during the day, but after that I'm on my own! I am feeling better and much more mobile, so hopefully we can start getting back into some more of our routine soon! Hopefully Sophia's jealously will soon disappear and we can go on about our lives, it would make me a much happier person, but I'm not holding my breath just yet! ;)

Here Sophia sings Twinkle, Twinkle to her baby bro

My Nipples Aren't the Only Things That Are Confused

sleepy, sleepy
bright-eyed and bushy tailed

Taking a break from being a big sis

Breastfeeding; it is the bane of my existence. Most of you know the struggles I faced with Sophia's "breastfeeding" and know it just wasn't pretty. It took me a long time to get to a good place with her and realize it just wasn't worth it. I vowed that I would not go there with this baby and that I would just go with the flow, so to speak. Well, the last few days I have found myself back in the "dark place" and just feel conflicted.

Let's start at the beginning. Leo came out pretty much ready to eat. He latched on fairly easily and had a pretty good suck going, something that NEVER happened with Sophia, literally. So I was feeling good. There is a but coming...BUT, because my milk wasn't in yet and because he was so big from the get-go, he started losing weight rather rapidly. The nurses don't worry until babies lose 10% of their body weight, but again, with the struggles we went through with Sophia (who lost 11% by the time we left the hospital and it only got worse) we were naturally worried. So, we supplemented him after every feeding. I totally think that was the best choice, however, it does open up the can of worms known as "nipple confusion". For those of you out there who maybe aren't as in touch with your own nipples, nipple confusion is basically a term that states babies who are given artificial nipples, as in bottles or pacifiers, will learn quickly that they are easier to suck from than the real thing, therefore relying solely on those and refusing their mother's breast. I personally think nipple confusion is a stupid term, but I do think that this theory has merit. In fact, I pretty much think that's what happened to Leo. Since we've left the hospital his desire to nurse has decreased. He is incredibly inconsistent and what happens is that I offer the breast, then supplement, then pump by the time you add in diaper changing and clean-up it makes feeding time at least an hour or more. By the time I put him back to bed I sleep for about an hour or so before we're back at it. Quite simply, that just isn't going to work.


We did go the pediatrician today and he has gained 3 oz since we left the hospital...yay! This means supplementing is working. Leo, however, decided to show off for the lactation nurse today during his visit and nursed like a champ on both sides. So, now I think, hmmm...should I reconsider this nursing business?? Well, my elation only lasted so long as when we got home and tried again at the next feeding he shunned me like a leper. So much for hope.


I'm kind of back at the beginning, but in the last few days I've moved closer and closer to my happy place. I'm leaning towards moving away from nursing and sticking with the bottle. If I eliminate the nursing aspect all together, I can easily cut down on time especially since I still have my exceptionally handy hands-free-bustier that I use while bottle feeding. I haven't made a final decision as yet, but I'm okay with it. I really do think that I will just have a moment of epiphany where it will all become clear and I will make my decision and move on. I will admit though, that I totally had a sappy, emotional, crazy La Leche League Woman moment when he latched on and fed from my breast. I seriously cried when I realized how beautiful and magical of a moment it was.


At the end of the day the important thing is that I feed my baby and that he's growing. As a rational human I realize this. As an emotional mother I have other ideas! ;)

Leo Stephen Hirner

Make a Smilebox slideshow

He's here! We had quite an adventurous Friday morning, especially since it started at 4 am!! I did wake up early and take a shower, per directions of the nursing staff, with anti-bacterial soap. Seriously? Anyway, we made it perfectly on time to the hospital and I got all gowned up, shaved, and IV-ed. We headed to the operating room where my nerves really took over! The epidural went in just fine and they finally sent Charlie in to join me. My doctor started the surgery without me even knowing and things went incredibly smoothly. It felt different this time than with Sophia. I barely felt a thing with her, with Leo I could actually sort of feel my feet and wiggle my toes, which seriously freaked me out, but I couldn't feel any cutting, so I guess things were fine! There was also an incredible amount of pressure but not exactly pain. When the doctor finally got to the baby, both he and the doctor that were assisting continued to comment about how big of a baby it was. In fact, a direct quote from my doc was, "This baby is a chunker!" He was so wedged down into me that no body quite knew what were expecting. Dr. Finkelston pulled him out and said to Charlie that this was definitely his baby, I figured that meant he had to be a boy, but he still hadn't told me! He then announced that it was a boy and both Charlie and I squealed, and of course I cried, with delight! The anaesthesiologist said my face was priceless and that I looked so surprised. I was hoping for a boy (and see my girl prediction was wrong again!) but I just couldn't be sure. I originally thought he was a boy and then talked myself out of it. It does seem however that the Chinese Calendar was correct! I've heard from friends that it's always right, but I never checked with Sophia...so it seems it was right on with Leo. Once he came out everyone in the operating room kept asking if they had weighed him yet...everyone wanted to know exactly how big he was!



The rest of the day was sort of a blur, but I will say in a way, it was kind of nice that we were only allowed 2 visitors at a time in the recovery area. It did stage the visitors so that we weren't bum-rushed, but at the same time, it was hard knowing that there were loved-ones out there waiting to come in and at least see the little guy! We made it to our luxury room where the visiting sure didn't stop! Charlie got his own hospital bed and own TV (thank goodness!) and we set up shop for the next 4 days. It was much more comfortable than the traditional maternity rooms and we were quite happy with it!


Sophia came with Anne the next day and was absolutely thrilled to see him and meet him! She continues to do just awesome when she's around him and is fitting into her big sister role very nicely! The most precious thing was all of a sudden, not prompted by anyone, Sophia announced, "I love him." It truly melted my heart. All my worrying was for not, which it usually is, because I see her light up when she's with him and I know she will love and protect him for always. I'm sure his novelty will wear off soon enough but for now, I am eating it up!


We're adjusting here to life at home and we have both doctors appointments (Leo's and mine)tomorrow. Hopefully Leo has at least stabilized or gained weight, as he was down 8% when we left the hospital. I'll update about the feeding situation at a later date because it really does deserve it's own post! ;)

Oh, and finally, the stats for those of you who might not have heard:

Born at: 7:54 am
Weight: 9 lbs 5 oz
Height: 21 inches

We're Home!

Momma and her babies
Kisses for Baby Brother!

I'm ready to go home, Mom

Maxin' and Relaxin'

so sweet

Whew! Charlie, Leo and I are home! Sophia is still at mom's, thankfully! I truly do miss her, but I have to admit that I'm thankful mom was up for watching her just one more night. It has been very nice coming home and getting situated! We set up a feeding/pumping station for Mr. Leo and Mommy and I really needed the rest! She'll be arriving home tomorrow, and we're all looking forward to it, but I'll also be looking forward to at least one night where I only have to worry about tending to one little one in the middle of the night! I will post much more soon, hopefully tomorrow...but I thought I'd at least try and get a few pictures up to satisfy the masses! We're all doing great and we just absolutely love our little man!

Getting Ready for Baby...

A few people have told me to have a special toy or something to give Sophia when it's time to feed the Baby. I thought this sounded like a pretty good idea so I bought a bag and had Sophia pick out some paints. She very happily painted her bag with a little help from Bama yesterday. She was sooooo excited to paint! We totally got it everywhere, but whatever. She was proud of her masterpiece. I stocked the bag with some exciting new books, cards, and stickers. I tried to find things she could do on her own and since she loves to read so much I figured books was a safe bet. I also bought a giant Magna Doodle that I figure I can switch out between her bag of books to keep things exciting! I hope it works!

Here Sophia is making sure the safety buckles are in working condition. She was thrilled when we brought the carrier out, just one more thing she thinks is for her babies! She's been playing with the swing for weeks! I think we've finally got her to the point where she pushes it gently, but for a while there it was going at full throttle...yikes!

passing the torch, er, crib, to the baby

Yes, the rocking chair is still comfortable, thank you.

Here she dictated that she would sit on the ottoman and Mommy would sit in the chair

Aunt Annie arrived to pick up her charge!

taking the last few shots before Baby arrives!

Look at the size of that belly!!

Deep breath. And again. Okay, I think I'm ready. I mean physically, I'm totally beyond ready. I was ready to have this baby out of me weeks ago, but mentally, we'll we're still working on that! ;) Actually, I'm much more ready than I think I ever was with Sophia. I know more of what to expect, sort of anyway, and I now know what a true joy having a child is, so that part is a little less scary. But, since I'm a true neurotic I've got a lot on my mind! I'm naturally a bit worried about surgery, but I'm confident in my doctor and I'm sure things will go smoothly. He did say at my visit today though that going back through an incision will make it heal less quickly so he'll be leaving the staples in for a week. So, that first week out I'll have to make a trek to both Baby's doctor and mine! Blech! In other visit news...I did not even gain one pound this week! Woo HOOOO! I'm not sure how that is seeing as though I really believe I ate my weight in leftover golf-ball cupcakes, but the scale don't lie! I grew 1 cm, which is perfect, and I ended up at 40 cm, which is only 1 cm over "ideal"...they say to gain 1 cm/week and technically I'm 39 weeks, so I feel pretty good about that. I'm just over the fact that I will have these ghastly stretch marks for the rest of my life. It is what it is. It's going to be a struggle to lose the weight, but I'm hoping that since I'm off the steroids that will be my jumping off point. Speaking of which, as soon as I stopped the steroids, my rash came back in full force. Bastards. It can last up to 12 weeks post-partum and I can't really remember how long it stayed with Sophia, about a month or two I'd say, but I don't remember it being quite as itchy, so that's a plus.

I've had an emotional day as I finished up all the odds and ends I could think of. I really thought about Sophia today and how her life is going to be so different. My friend Julie told me that when she had Luca, she almost felt as if she were breaking-up with Massimo, and although it's kind of a funny analogy, I sort of felt that way today too. It was definitely weird to think that this was the last day on earth she'd be an only child! Rationally, I can look at the situation and say that I couldn't imagine life without my own brother and the relationship we have and I hope that Sophia will have an equally close bond with her sibling, but I also worry that she'll be traumatized. I know it will be an adjustment it's just that she's all I know right now so the thought of her being sad, jealous, etc. just breaks my heart. My Parents as Teachers rep did tell me though, that after about 2-3 months kids Sophia's age don't even remember life without their sibling. That's pretty good news, 2 months isn't that long, right?! I also try and remember that she LOVES babies and she is such a sweet and genuine helper around the house, that she may be excited by this new edition...I just don't think she understands it's going to actually live here!

At the end of the day though, things are changing and I am really trying not to worry about all my fears, rational or not! I am truly excited about meeting this new baby. It's time. It is already so loved and so wanted and we have a lifetime of happiness as a family ahead of us. That being said, I'm going to go ahead on record and say that I think it's a girl, so call Vegas and place your bets for boy, because I'm always wrong! Truly, I second guess my "feelings" all the time and I have no idea what I truly think about it's gender. If you'd like to get your vote in before it's too late, feel free to post it! Part of me hopes it's a boy because it'd be really fun to have a boy, and who knows if we're going to have any more kids. But, on the flip side, I always wanted a sister and if it's a girl Sophia will get that opportunity that I always wished for. Really, I guess it's a win-win situation. Send us good vibes as we go into surgery tomorrow and pray for no complications! Surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am which means we'll have a baby by 7:45! We'll let everyone know the details as soon as possible and feel free to call or visit us during our hospital stay! We're used to loud, busy rooms and I'm sure the baby will sleep through the whole thing, so we'll see you soon!

Updates!

Don't worry...I'm still pregnant! We don't have anything that exciting to update, but we did have a very busy morning ! Charlie and I had an 8 am appointment at the hospital, which we were late for, and all I could think about was...how are we going to get here by 5:30???! Anyway, we met with a hoot of a nurse to register and do some blood work. Apparently they need some count of something or another so they have things on hand in case I need blood during surgery. I suppose that's a good enough reason to go in! Anyway, she kinda laid things out for us as to what to expect, since it's a different hospital than where Sophia was born. She also said that I'll have to stay in the recovery room for two hours post surgery where I can of course keep the baby and have up to two visitors at a time. Hmmmm...TWO visitors...clearly she doesn't know who's she's dealing with here. My exact response was, "They're not going to like that." But, it's only for a couple of hours and then I fully expect the free-for-all to ensue. She did say that she'd put down a request for the biggest room possible, wouldn't that be nice. I also tried to "book" an appointment with a lactation nurse now so that I'd be sure to see one before I left. I've decided that I'm going to try and breastfeed within the first 24-48 hours and if it doesn't work, I'm moving on. Sophia turned out fine and was mostly on formula, so there. I am still undecided about pumping as well. I'd like to try, but it brings a whole new dynamic with Sophia running around the house. I can't just sit at the pump for an hour! Charlie was really hoping that the baby would get the birthing vibe and would feel the need to be born while we were there, but no such luck! I'm pretty sure we're going to make it until Friday, it's only a couple more days!


We then headed to Sophia's 2 year check-up where she checked-out just fine! It was a pretty quick visit all in all and the doctor was very happy with her growth and development. She was more talkative with him than ever and he really got a kick out of her today. We gave her one last vaccine and the flu mist today, which is apparently the thing to do. She did great, I kinda thought she would freak out about it, but she took it like a champ. Since we'll be back there soon with the baby, he said to ask about the prospect of the H1-N1 vaccine (for Sophia), which they put in for but aren't sure they'll receive. I'd like to get it for her just because Baby will be so new and little! Charlie was anxious to see how much Sophia weighed and had grown because lately she just seems to keep growing! So here are her stats:

Weight: 30 lbs..........90%
Height: 38 inches.....100%

She's a giant! If you go by the "2 year rule" that says double the height and that's what they'll be fully grown...Sophia is expected to be 6'4", are you kidding me??? I hope that she'll be tall, but I kinda think maybe she's just growing fast. Both Charlie and I were quick to sprout and then evened out by the 8th grade. I guess we'll wait and see! If I think I have trouble buying pants for her now, watch out!

Time to Par-Tee

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Whew! It's over! I must say that although most parties I do are somewhat of a production, I really felt like this party was sort of lower key and I got to mingle a little bit with everyone! We did have quite a few last minute cancellations due to illness and other things so that made for a smaller crowd, although we still had quite a full house! The kids had a great time, and that is what really matters at a two-year old birthday party! The bubbles were a huge hit this year and from the pics you can see that Isaac and Sophia were the number one bubble makers! She was literally drenched in bubble juice and we had to change her out of her party clothes, which is why I unfortunately didn't get a family shot...bummer. I didn't take as many varied pics as I would have liked, but we got a good sampling and hopefully those of you who couldn't make it get a good feel for the party vibe! I had a craft table for the kids as well where they could decorate golf visors and put on sports themed tattoos. Sophia is really getting into tattoos and thinks they're pretty cool stuff, I only imagine that face painting is next! She got lots of fab gifts that she is working her way though each day. In the bath shot, you can see her putting two of her toys to use already: bathtub xylophone and bath baby.


I think the cupcakes turned out pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself! I do have little birthday elves to thank for that too! After dinner on Friday night I put Mom, Sue, and Shelby to work decorating and they did a fantastic job! I did a little combo effort of buying premade cupcakes (thank you Costco) and then spray painted, sprinkled and topped them off with a real golf tee and a homemade white chocolate golf ball. Very festive. My vision was achieved and I spent a fraction of the cost of last year's dog cupcakes, and that made Charlie very happy! :) I also have to give a shout out to Wendy, Julie, Mom, Shelby and Jenn who came over Saturday morning and helped me with the finishing touches on the yard and food. I truly couldn't have done it without them and they even cleaned the kitchen too! Gotta love friends! I am seriously so thankful for all the help I got, it made things so much easier!


Well, I think we're partied out until next year...or Christmas, whichever comes first! Haha, just kidding, Honey! (sort of...)